


Beautiful Things

by olivemartini



Series: the heavy hearts we hold together [17]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 12:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11578347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemartini/pseuds/olivemartini
Summary: This is not a beautiful thing.It doesn't surprise her.They aren't beautiful, either.





	Beautiful Things

This is not a beautiful thing.

Beatrice thinks that is only fair, because they are not beautiful people.  They're broken people, two kids pretending that they were ready to be adults and fighting off the bad things in this world with only the idea that it _should_ be good, and so they'll _make_ it good.  Like they can drive out the monsters in the darkness with nothing more that their idealism and guns and a shiny badge, when really all they are is two people with the echoes of monsters hiding in their eyes ( _but it comes out at night when they wake up with red rimmed eyes from a dream they can't remember and in the morning when the sunlight shows what can't be found in the shadows_ ) and demons running rabid in their veins.

So maybe it only makes sense that this would be a needy, desperate thing, when they finally moved from the kitchen to the couch and then on to the bedroom, her falling back onto the bed and him following, looking at her like this was both the best and most terrifying thing that he ever had the pleasure of experiencing.  If Beatrice had taken time to think about it, to plan out how this was going to go, she probably would have wanted to have gone out to dinner first, to have some part of it involve champagne and roses, but sometimes there is no time for that: sometimes there is only skin on skin and bones hitting bone and the idea that _yes, finally, here is the reminder you were looking for, you are still alive. Â_ She had not thought that it would be a long case that would finally set this into motion, where she was waiting in Reid's apartment for him to get back, watching the news and already knowing that this would be a bad night.  And when he walked in the door with haunted eyes and messy hair and the need for _something,_ she just stared at him until he crossed the room and kissed her like he meant.

"I don't really know what I'm doing,"  He admits, breathing the words against her skin.  His hands are trembling when he reaches for her, maybe from nerves, maybe from the pent up adrenaline that's been coiling up in him for the past three days as he works to fight something he can't see. 

"That's okay."  She had kicked the door closed and made sure all the lights were off, so she can't see him, but she can _feel_ him beside her, just close enough that she knows where he is and far enough away that they aren't actually touching, like he's still waiting for permission.  "I don't either."

Because she doesn't. She doesn't know why she's here, when she should be at home, why she's with this man who keeps drawing her back into the kind of life that just isn't good for her.  Why she holds his face in her hands, and waits until he moves down to meet her, waits until he finally does something that makes it so she doesn't really have to think about what she does or doesn't know anymore.  


End file.
